Survival Guide for Lazy People

Survival Guide for Lazy People

Are you lazy? Do you enjoy life? Chances are if you answered affirmative to each of these questions, you have got yet to seek out a survival guide in the case of an emergency or catastrophe. If so, sit back, and still relax in your product shorts and loafers as I guide you thru surviving the Apocalypse, even if you’re too lazy to try and do the dishes today.

Step 1

Buy a paracord. Similar to those cargo shorts you’re wearing, paracord has multiple functions in any survival situation. Though modern society looks down on those whose select practicality over fashion, a bear doesn’t decide what a part of you to eat first based on which colors match your shoes best. A bear will care that you just choose to use your 550 paracord to use as a spring loaded snare to hold him upside down in a tree or that instead you used the inside layer of you paracord to fashion a bow to shoot arrows at him. No, bears don’t answer fashion …

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